I just have not noticed the real cause of my restlessness and the like. The environment was not in favour of me in any sense. I don’t mean that they have been wrong, but that I didn’t really try to look for what I really am born for but rather I mostly tried the best to give into the restricted environment I had.

It is easier for me to lose track of what really has to be done for my life pretty often. Whenever I try to get my hands on everything, I lose most of them. This restless feeling never disappears. When one of the kinds goes away, another comes in. But, when I think about it, there’s no need to be so. It is mostly from the thought that I take every single moment much more. In fact, it has never been the case. The only way get it over with it is to recognize I never am as “productive” as I wish I would be. I mean, I wish. But, I don’t need to be. Being highly super-productive is not really required for me to become what I wanna be. What I can do better is to take care of the time available for myself.

I cannot ever be the most productive ever. My life is not about filling in my to-do list. It is more about having things on my hand truthfully without dissecting my attention to what feels to need my attention. They don’t. What needs my attention is myself. What I think, what I want, what I have to do.