Clearly, I made a mistake of choosing wordpress.com as my first diary. I was planning to migrate into wordpress.org but I have to acknowledge that I don’t have time the energy and will to do all this. Still, I don’t like the banner that I get when I don’t subscribe the monthly option of wordpress.com.…

I just have not noticed the real cause of my restlessness and the like. The environment was not in favour of me in any sense. I don’t mean that they have been wrong, but that I didn’t really try to look for what I really am born for but rather I mostly tried the best…

Anyway, the second semester at this school has ended. I mean, technically, it will end soon. There’s one project that is due on today midnight. I have finished last night already and done really nothing for courseworks. Whenever I try to orgnanized things of my head by writing things down, I recognize that they do…

It is still a continuation of Saturday and so I have the date as Saturday. I have not been following the plan and goal that I set when starting to write things down on this blog. I have become more messy and things have got a bit more scarier. It is not that I have…

My advisor showed a serious disappointment in my performance in his class, not about the research related stuff. I should not think so hard about what it is about and the one thing that was brough up today. What was done is what was done. There’s nothing I can do about what has been already…

Above all, I have to take control of my life. I have been intermittently reading a book by Oliver Burkeman. The book felt pretty off in the early chapters and, as it goes on, it has started to say what I have been wanting to know and “figure out.” It does feel like one of…

It’s hard. Why I have been failing is due to avoiding that it is hard. Like, changing my attitude towards all the things that I experience and how I behave is not supposed to be easy. Additionally, it is not just about my attitude. My thought process and everything has gradually changed to become very…

It’s not about removing what I shouldn’t do but filling in what to do. The time given to me is finite and, accurately, time is not even given to me. They occur and pass away. I must have list of things not to do, but they aren’t not the priorities to consider whenever “troubles” arise…

The real thing to tell myself all the time is to stop thinking but only focus on what to do at the moment. Every thought and worry of mine arise from what can be done within a certain amount of time and the daily/weekly/monthly regrets I have every single minute. Life is finite. It does…

So, basically every problem seens to arise from “thinking.” If I ever stop pondering upon what to do and start to do whatever I need to do, I will be geared to taking an action. Taking into account “how much time” I can spend on what I need to do never helps since it only…